Another beautiful year down

 Jaxen's birthday was more like a birth weekend. On the day of his birthday unfortunately Josh and I both worked. Before I had to leave for work we went to Toys R us and picked out his present for his party. He would not leave the wooden train area without having a complete meltdown. So I went with the Imaginarium train set. (Similar one here) We then headed over to whole foods and grabbed a cupcake. We sat outside under the trees and I watched him get frosting all over his little face and hands. I couldn't help but feel amazed at how much he has grown. How much personality and independence he has acquired the last year.  Later that evening my mom flew in from CA where Josh and Jaxen were there to pick her up. 

The next day was his party. My mom and I ran around in the morning and got all the necessary items like, balloons and streamers... yadda yadda.  We packed everything up and headed to the park. Once we got there the sun was out and it was a beautiful day but the wind was SO strong. The streamer tent over our table I was going for was a complete fail. Balloons would not stay still and the table cloth and food were flying everywhere. It as definitely a challenge. We put on some music and BBQ up our food anyway. Jaxen opened his presents and we played with them for a bit. My arms got so sunburnt. I didnt even realize the strength of the sun because the wind was cooling. After we got tired of the weather we walked over to my dads house and sang happy birthday and cut the cake. We sat and drank what was left of our beer. My mom and I headed out to have a late dinner at The Domain after we put jaxen to bed and had an awesome end to our day. 

 The next day we took an adventure to Sea world San Antonio. It was Josh and Jaxen's first time! We walked around and saw the animal exhibits, played on the playscape and splash pad and even saw a sesame street concert. We went to the Sea lion show and Shamu show also. Jaxen was totally mesmerized over the animals. It was so cute. By the end of the day we were pooped and so was Jaxens bubble gun! We drove home and finished off with some dinner. It was so fun being surrounded with friends and family. Another beautiful year down... <3

The sunlight in a sea of angst.

I find myself here after anxious thoughts on my drive home from work tonight. After a rough shift  I can't help but feel taken advantage of and as though my kindness is being exhausted. I work at a mental health hospital and I truly feel that the stresses from this job do get to some employees and their negativity almost feels like a black hole, ready to suck in anything in its path. I on the other hand will refuse to be one of them. However, tonight I am beginning to wear thin. 

As I drove home my thoughts kept retracing all of my efforts to uplift others...offering to cover shifts that I was scheduled to be off for my co-worker as she has a vacation planned. Bringing in drinks, when to my surprise am blessed with a buy one get one free coffee deal. Always floating to other units for people who call out sick for the day, managing my unit all on my shoulders (which requires 2 nurses on any given day.) Letting others go home early and going above and beyond my job duties in general. I hardly complain, in fact this might just be the first time i'm mentioning it. But with all these things I'm doing out of the kindness of my heart, I feel I am being dragged down. 

The one who I agreed to work for would not willingly do the same in return as Jaxen turns 2 tomorrow and my mom arrives from California. I would have loved to have it off. OUCH. That one hurt.  The units I float over to help them out are rude and not very helpful when I am unaware of where supplies are and I am left scrambling with unfamiliar faces and unfamiliar surroundings. People complain in jealousy "Where is my drink??" and do not help out as a team as we are supposed to be, making my job duties more difficult. The getting let out early rotation has not been fair as I've stayed over without dinner or breaks with double the number of patients countless times.

I guess I am just venting now and struggling with the fact that not everyone will treat you with the respect you give. Not everyone will be willing to put others first. It is a selfish world out there and most have adapted by being unconcerned with anyone but themselves. I guess maybe I'm letting it get to me. Its just so hard to see the sunlight in a sea of angst. But I will push on. 

I know deep in my heart its not about giving and what you receive back. Its about the feeling you get when you are giving. That right there outweighs all the bad. Knowing in your heart you are doing the right thing, you are making a difference even in the smallest way. Slowly but surely I'm sure I'll be able to soften the piercing unfavorable dispositions around. But for now I will keep on telling myself my words to live by: Do not allow negative people to trap you in with their negative useless thoughts. Be strong and break free. Be one who nurtures and who builds. Be one who has a forgiving heart, who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them...

And with that, I pick myself up, I dust myself off and I am ready to conquer the world. <3

Happy Easter!!

We had so much fun on Easter this year! Between the cupcake baking and ATTEMPT at egg dying, it was something to bring us all together. We learned quickly on that dyeing is alot harder than we thought! We are now better prepared for next year haha! We headed over to Opas house for lunch and hid the eggs....Jaxen was so eager to get ahold of them he could hardly wait. He absolutely loved finding them. The whole time yelling, "eeeg, eeeeg!" He got two baskets, one from grandma and one from us, so as you could imagine sweets and toys were everywhere. He was upset when we took him away from the fun for a photo op... resulting in our amazing picture! Overall, we had a blast. :]

Confetti egg smash party!